


Of Croatoan and Crowded Thoughts

by SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock



Series: Supernatural As Told by Me: If Cas Was Always There [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Croatoan Virus, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 15:33:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14547846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock/pseuds/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock
Summary: When Sam has a vision about Dean blowing away an innocent man, they head straight there, not knowing what they're driving into. What they do find? That it's time for things to change.





	Of Croatoan and Crowded Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO EVERYONE I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS HAS TAKEN SO LONG FOR ME TO GET OUT!!!!!
> 
> So this particular installment was very tricky for me because the more to the script I had to stick, the more tedious it became for me. Truth be told I got very busy with work and life and I'm so happy to have finally finished it.

Dean stared straight ahead at the road, singing along to the song that was playing on the radio. His fingers tapped against Castiel’s legs that were casually draped across his lap. Castiel had done it jokingly at first but Dean somehow found it sexy and domestic all at the same time. 

Castiel smiled at him when he looked up from the magazine that he’d picked up at a truck stop, to see Dean looking at him. He couldn’t see his eyes behind his sunglasses but he could feel the love radiate off of him just from the small smile he gave him and the way he ran his thumb across his shin. 

He took in the way Dean sang along to the song on the radio, the way his voice sounded like honey to him. He loved it when Dean sang. He didn’t do it often, usually when it was only them in the car. Or even when he’d had just a bit too much to drink. So when he did sing, it was a treat to Castiel. 

“It’s a wonder that Sam gets any sleep with that racket you call singing,” Gabriel teased from the back. 

Castiel cast a glare at his brother as Dean’s voice quieted and stopped. He huffed and tore out a page of his magazine that he’d already read. He crumpled up the page and tossed it at his brother, hitting him square in the forehead. “You’re a dick.”

Gabriel scoffed. “I was just joking!”

Castiel leaned over to his boyfriend and stroked his cheek. “Your singing is beautiful, baby. You shouldn’t ever stop,” he smiled, seeing the red on his cheeks as Dean turned back to the road. 

“I really was just joking,” Gabriel voiced from the back. “Where are we going, anyway?”

Castiel shook his head. “No destination,” he offered with a grin. 

After Dean and Sam tracked them down, they’d spent a bit of their time letting themselves fall back into the easy rhythm that they’d been becoming accustomed to before they left. Dean and Cas, in love as ever while Gabriel and Sam did everything they could just to escape their make out sessions. Of course, it wasn’t easy, but they managed.  

“No destination? So why did we need to all get out of bed at an ungodly hour?” he asked. 

Dean’s expression turned wicked and Castiel couldn’t help the thought of just how  _ cool _ his boyfriend looked with that grin behind the sunglasses he wore. Because Dean just radiated cool. 

“Well you see, Gabe. Cas and I were up, thought we’d catch the sunrise. Cas said we couldn’t leave you two behind. That’s the only reason we got you up in the first place.”

Castiel chuckled. “He’s not lying. Dean’s idea was somewhat of a getaway from the two of you–”

“Yeah.  _ Weeks _ long,” he said as he took a turn. 

“I managed to talk him out of it,” Castiel said in return. 

Dean’s grin returned and it was enough to make Castiel shudder. He knew Dean was still coping with everything. There was his father, Sam’s visions, still feeling the shocks of him leaving, and then on top of it all… Castiel knew he was still trying to work out the whole no soul thing. He knew that Dean didn’t know what to make of it. But now, seeing his boyfriend smiling and grinning like he was the most carefree person in the world? It was the best feeling.

“Yeah. But only because you promised you would–” he started but he was cut off by Gabriel. 

“Alright, alright. I don’t need to hear that. I don’t  _ want _ to hear that,” he said. 

Castiel laughed and shook his head, none of them noticing that Sam’s breathing had begun to get heavier underneath the music that was playing. He and Dean had gone back to idly talking when it was Gabriel that noticed something was up with the man sitting next to him. 

Gabriel frowned when he heard Sam’s breathing. Since they shared a room so often, they’d become accustomed to the way each other breathed and sighed and what each one meant. And while Sam snored loudly sometimes, when he wasn’t, his breathing was always sort of even. Nothing out of the ordinary. So the ragged and quick breaths that were escaping the other were anything but ordinary. 

“Uh, guys… I think something is wrong with Sam,” he said. 

Dean frowned, turning the music down as he cast his eyes into the rearview; his concern for his brother flooding his very being as. “Wrong? What do you mean ‘wrong’? What’s happening?”

Gabriel shook his head. “He’s breathing kinda funny,” he said, his eyes looking him over, moving a little. “As someone who has been sleeping in the same room with him for some time now, I can say with a decent amount of certainty that something is definitely wrong.”

Dean didn’t hesitate, moving the car over to the side of the road with an ease that only came from having to do it so many times before. He put the car in park as the happy, playful, mood that had been in the car previously was now gone and replaced with the seriousness that came with worry for one of theirs. 

As soon as the car came to a stop, Gabriel was moving so that he could lay Sam down a little, Castiel moving the front seat of the car up so that Gabriel could kneel in the footwell over Sam. All the while Sam began to sweat and convulse a little, words being mumbled under his breath. 

“Sammy–” Dean started, reaching to shake him awake. 

“Dean, stop!” Gabriel said as he pushed him back. 

Dean looked surprised and then pissed. Where did Gabriel get the right? He opened his mouth, ready to threaten him, they were all sure, when Gabriel spoke again. 

“He’s having a vision. I’ve learned how to recognize them,” he said. He looked down at his friend, wishing he could help. “But the thing is he gets more  _ violent _ when you touch him. He’s going to keep having the vision so let him ride it out.”

“You’ve got to be joking!” Dean shouted.

“I’m not!” Gabriel growled back, a look of fury on his face right before he heard Sam mutter something that sounded like Cas’ name. He turned back to Sam, watching him, knowing that whatever was going on behind his eyelids, his brother was involved. 

He peered closer to him, wondering if it was getting worse or better when suddenly Sam’s eyes popped open and he moved to sit up quickly… only he was immediately halted by his forehead colliding with Gabriel’s so hard that Castiel hissed in sympathy when he heard the crack, his body cringing. 

“Oh, fucking  _ hell _ , Sam!” Gabriel groaned, for his head the same time Sam did. 

“What… what’s going on? Where are we?” He looked around, seeing everyone looking over him. What he was expected to be met with were explanations, Gabriel swatting at him for headbutting him– something to those effects. What he hadn’t expected was to hear the loud, gut busting, laughter that was coming from Dean as he doubled over. 

“Oh my god,” Dean laughed loudly, clutching his stomach. “Ah, you’re right, Gabe. I’m glad you stopped me. Because if you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have gotten that beauty right there. Oh I wish I had that on film,” he continued to laugh. 

Gabriel huffed. “Cassie, you have horrible taste in men,” he said in a gruff voice, his ears vaguely picking up Sam’s chuckle underneath Dean’s loud laughter. 

Sam, still getting his bearings about him, sat up a little. “Are you okay?” he wondered as he reached for Gabriel. 

“Uh-uh, stretch,” Gabriel said as he held up his hands like he would fight Sam with some amazing kung-fu abilities. “You are  _ clearly _ bad juju! This morning before we left the hotel it was my foot you stepped on and then my hair you pulled getting into the car. Now you’re headbutting me. I think maybe space is for the best.” Gabriel pulled himself out of the car, groaning as he continued to rub at his head. 

Despite Gabriel’s words, Sam sat there with a laugh under his breath. He knew Gabriel wasn’t serious. The guy was practically never serious, he didn’t know why Gabriel would change that now. He knew that when it was time to get back on the road, he would take his place next to him in the back seat and they would go back to talking as they always did. But Gabriel’s theatrics always did amuse him. 

He looked out of the car, watching Gabriel yell at his brother while Castiel got in the middle, the two going back and forth in some kind of insult battle that Cas was beginning to find childish and worthy of smacks. But as Sam sat there, thinking, he began to remember what he’d seen only moments before he’d awoken. 

As the images flashed behind his eyes, he felt a sudden rush of anger. He moved, getting out of the car. In one move he’d stepped between them all and he had Dean pinned up against the impala, the mood dipping once again. \\\ 

“Whoa, killer,” Dean said as he held his hands up to his brother. He was surprised to say the least. There were times Sam called him out, sure, but there were also times where Sam joined him in ragging on Gabriel just to get him angry. But this was something entirely different. He saw real anger in him. “I didn’t realize you’d turned into Gabriel’s body guard. Or is it boyfriend now?” he lifted an eyebrow just before Castiel and Gabriel pulled Sam off of him. 

“What has gotten into you, Sam?” Castiel frowned as he stood between them once again. “You’re going to bat for Gabriel over Dean laughing at him?” he questioned. 

“And while I am flattered, it’s unnecessary,” Gabriel began. 

Sam shook his head as they talked, it beginning to dawn on him that what he’d seen, what he experienced; it hadn’t happened yet. He pointed to the car. “Get back in the car. We need to go.”

“Sam–”

“Now!” he said.

 

Dean drove, silence filling the car as Sam sat right beside him instead of Castiel, the others now in the back seat. 

He would give Gabriel props where they were due because he’d been right. Of course he’d never say that out loud, but he had been; Sam had been having a vision. 

From the little he’d told them about the vision, they all knew it sounded unpleasant. Dean, shooting a guy for no apparent reason other than he’d said so, the whole thing sounding vaguely like the script to a bad horror film. When Dean had jokingly compared it to  _ Saw _ … well Sam had been less than pleased. 

Nevertheless, it lead them where they were now: barreling down the road and headed straight for a town in Oregon that Sam had demanded he sit in the front to oversee. He wanted to make sure they were going the right way and that they were getting there the fastest way possible. 

“Continue on O-R two-two four west,” said the GPS, telling Dean he was going the right way. 

“There are only two towns in the US named Rivergrove,” Sam said.

But of course Dean frowned at it, always trusting maps and common sense more than navigation system even if they were designed to make things easier. “How come you’re so sure it’s the one in Oregon?” he asked as he looked over at his brother quickly before he looked back to the road. 

Sam’s eyes flicked over to Dean and then off in the distance as if he was remembering something. Sam could see the image of the poster on the wall clear as day as Dean passed it in his vision. 

“There was a picture. Crater Lake,” he informed. 

Dean nodded, taking that as his chance to probe his brother for more information. “Okay, what else?” he coaxed. 

Sam sighed softly to himself, knowing he had to give them all more information. “I saw a dark room, some people, and a guy tied to a chair.”

“And I ventilated him?” Dean asked. 

Sam opened his mouth to answer when Castiel cut in. “Dean, that is crude and no way to talk about killing someone if they’re innocent,” he lifted an eyebrow. 

“You tryna’ change me again, Novak?” Dean questioned with a slight scoff in his voice. 

“Dean,” Castiel said a second time. 

“Alright, alright,” he conceded unhappily to appease his partner at the moment. “What I meant to ask is whether or not I so kindly put a bullet into this random civ’s head?” he asked before he threw a look over his shoulder at his boyfriend. “How was that, sweetheart?” he directed at Castiel, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

As Gabriel snickered to himself, Castiel pushed at his brother, the two launching into a back and forth in the backseat that allowed the Winchester brothers to have a moment just them. “So?” he asked once more. 

Sam nodded. “Yeah. You thought there was something inside him,” he said. 

Of course that only stood to make Dean more curious. His eyes flicked back and forth from the road to his brother, thoughts racing through his head and they began to spill from his mouth. 

“What, a demon? Was he possessed?” He started with. 

Sam shrugged, his head shaking as he gave the non committal answer. “I don’t know.”

“Well, all your weirdo visions are always tied to the yellow-eyed demon somehow… so was there any black smoke? Did we try to exorcise it?” he pushed further. 

Sam shook his head as Dean asked his questions. “No, nothing,” he said. “You just plugged him. That’s it.”

“Well I’m sure Dean had a good reason,” Castiel said from the back. His voice was soft yet concerned. 

“I sure hope so,” Sam muttered more to himself than anything else and yet, it seemed to be what everyone had on their minds. 

Dean had been… well he’d gotten better, was all they could really say about it. Dean was still dealing with the loss of his father and then to add everything else on to it– Sam’s visions, Cas leaving, Cas’ lack of soul– they’d cut Dean some major slack over the past few weeks. But the truth was they were all wondering how much longer he was going to be able to keep going until he cracked. 

Dean didn’t see a problem with his recent behavior. He knew that what he was doing, who he was becoming, it was necessary. He needed to be more. He needed to be better, faster, more willing to make the hard calls in order to protect the little family they had going on. It was what his father would do. John had tasked him with the protection of their family in more than one way. He had to make sure he was doing what he needed to keep everyone safe. 

And yet Sam’s words wounded. Dean looked up, clearly offended by the words as soon as Sam said them. “What does that mean?” he inquired but when no one answered, Dean looked back to the road as he kept talking. “I mean… I’m not going to waste an innocent man,” he said simply. His eyes flicked over to see Sam’s eyebrows raised and his own lifted in return. “I wouldn’t!” he said defensively. 

Truth be told, Castiel wanted to stick up for his boyfriend. But he didn’t know what Dean might do. There were still a lot of things they hadn’t talked about and he knew that it could take just the right amount of pressure to set him off. 

So he stayed quiet. 

“I never said you would!” Sam called back. 

“Fine!”

“Fine!” Sam said. “Look, we don’t know what it is. But whatever it is, that guy in the chair's a part of it. So let's find him, and see what's what.”

Dean’s clutch on the steering wheel was a little tighter than usual a he tried not to show his emotions. He didn’t like what his brother was insinuating. As if he’d kill some innocent guy in cold blood. He wasn’t a murderer. He killed the bad guys, he wasn’t one of them. But, that wasn’t what his brother seemed to think.

“Fine,” Dean muttered, keeping his mouth shut as not to say anything he would regret. 

“Fine,” Sam said in return. 

Gabriel looked between the brothers from the back, watching as the tide turned and shifted. He couldn’t help but catch the irony of the moment. Once it had been Dean making Sam feel like he was the one needing to be watched. Now Dean was understanding just what that felt like. 

 

By the time they reached their destination, it was light out once more. They’d driven all night just to get where they needed to go. They still had no idea what they were riding into and what it would entail. But what Dean had decided, Castiel wasn’t a fan of.

“I don’t understand why you’re dropping us off here,” Castiel said with a frown on his face as Dean led him and Gabriel into the abandoned house that laid just inside the town. Dean and Sam had wanted somewhere to keep them that they could put salt lines down and avoid any demon trouble. 

Castiel didn’t get it. He would have thought that if this was demon related, it would have been more of an ‘all hands on deck’ kind of situation. He couldn’t fathom why he was being benched.

Dean sighed. “I don’t like separating any more than you do, Cas. But I don’t know what’s going on here in this town and I’ll be damned if I’m going to take you in and you get hurt–”

“I can protect myself, Dean. Not only did Gabriel and I prove that on our hunts with  _ barely _ any weapons, we’ve proved it many times to you–”

“I know,” Dean said as he touched Castiel’s shoulders in an effort to calm his boyfriend. “I know, Cas,” he nodded. “You’re a sexy, badass, monster killing machine,” he smiled. “But It’s also going to be weirder in this case if four guys come through asking question. This is a smaller town. We’re going to get better results if it’s only two. Four means that something big is going down and I don’t want to scare these people. Plus… this could have something to do with the yellow-eyed demon, Cas,” he said, his voice softening as he took Cas’ hand. “And he already tried to take you away from me once. I can’t have you in that kind of danger again. Please.”

Castiel sucked in a breath, knowing that from a tactical standpoint his boyfriend was right. And also… he understood what Dean was feeling. He liked it no better than he knew Dean would if the situation were reversed. But he knew the only way to put Dean’s mind at ease was to stay. He also knew that Dean wouldn’t plead with him if it truly didn’t mean a great deal to him. 

Castiel uncrossed his arms and stepped closer, squinting his eyes at Dean.“Fine,” he said. “But don’t be gone longer than a couple hours. You’re just gathering information. To bring back and share. So we can help,” he said as he grabbed Dean by the zipper on his jacket and pulled him into him.

Dean nodded. “I promise,” he said as he kissed him softly.  

Gabriel looked at Sam as Cas and Dean had their moment. “You’re worried about him,” he said softly to the other man. “It’s sort of funny. It’s usually the other way around,” he offered. 

Sam looked up from where he’d been on his phone before he looked over to his brother. “He’s been on edge recently. When we were looking for you guys, he very nearly ripped the concierge over the counter simply because he was doing his job. I didn’t stop him… I admit I wanted to find you guys more than I cared about some guys feelings. But I know that if I wasn’t there, he would have hurt him. It makes me wonder what he will do...”

Gabriel nodded with a hum as he moved to sit down next to him. “Well Cas quiets him, I’ve noticed. Both physically and mentally. One day last week you and Cas went out for the food and Dean… he got real antsy. When you guys came back and Cas was within touching distance again, he calmed.”

“I’m worried that pretty soon, it’s not going to be enough,” Sam got the chance to say before he noticed Dean heading their way and he straightened. 

“You ready to do this?” he asked his brother, nodding in return when he got one. “Stay here,” he said to Castiel and Gabriel. “Unless we call you.” He pecked Castiel’s lips once more before the left, leaving the other set of brothers to watch them as they went. 

“I can’t believe they are leaving us behind,” Gabriel muttered. 

“I know,” Castiel sighed. 

There was a beat between them, Gabriel looking at his brother. “You know it’s your fault, don’t you?” 

Of course Castiel knew that. He knew that Dean couldn’t handle him getting in spitting distance to the yellow-eyed demon, not after what happened. Truth be told, he wasn’t fond of it himself but with the mentality of a hunter, he had a job to do. But he too was afraid that if the demon were to see him, he would finish the job. He would be happy when they killed him.

“Shut up, Gabriel,” he muttered. “Grab your stuff. We’re not staying,” he said as he led the way out the door.

 

Dean and Sam walked across the street already having talked to one of the locals that was in Sam’s vision. They didn’t get much from the guy, but they did get a name. Duane Tanner. And they knew where to find his house, so hopefully they knew where to find the kid. 

Sam was just about to lean over and tell Dean maybe his vision was wrong, maybe this would be simple. That was until he passed a word in a telephone pole. The pole itself would have been uninteresting if not for a word that was carved into it. 

They approached the pole, Sam looking at his brother as he pointed it out. “Hey,” he said.

Dean frowned in thought as he read the word out loud. “Croatoan?” he asked. He thought it sounded familiar but he couldn’t be too sure.

“Yeah,” Sam said but he knew that when he got a blank look from his brother, he knew that Dean was waiting for an explanation. “Roanoke? Lost colony? Ring a bell? Dean, did you pay any attention in history class?

Dean looked mildly offended. “Yeah! Shots heard 'round the world, How bills becomes laws…” he said.

Sam didn’t know whether to laugh at his brother or shake his head. “That's not school, that's Schoolhouse Rock,” he clarified.

Dean looked between Sam and the word before he gave an unresigned “Whatever.”

Sam took a breath as he went into explanation. “Roanoke was one of the first English colonies in America, late 1500s?” he wondered. 

“Oh yeah, yeah, I do remember that,” Dean said as clarification crossed his face. “The only thing they left behind was a single word carved in a tree. Croatoan,” he said.

Sam nodded. “Yeah. And I mean, there were theories — Indian raid, disease, but nobody knows what really happened. They were all just gone. I mean, wiped out overnight…” he said. As he talked, he and his brother shared looks, giving that silent part of the conversation that they seemed to have. And it seemed like they were thinking the same thing. 

Dean gave a humorless chuckle as he looked around. “You don't think that's what's going on here, I mean…” he trailed off, hoping that his brother would stop him, tell him that it couldn’t of been. Why couldn’t it have just been some kids playing a prank and they’d gotten a nice history lesson for the day? It was never that simple. 

“Whatever I saw in my head, it sure wasn't good. But what do you think could do that?” Sam asked as he looked back at the word, trying to debate whether or not they were about to face off with something with a whole keg of power.

Dean thought about it for a moment, trying to pinpoint what exactly they might be dealing with when he had a thought. “Well, I mean, like I said, all of your weirdo visions are always tied to the Yellow-Eyed Demon somehow, so…”

Sam nodded. “We should get help. Call the guys and tell them to get into town. Bobby, uh, Ellen maybe?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, that's a good idea,” he muttered as he pulled out of phone, beginning to walk and make the call. But when he looked down at his phone, he frowned at it. “I don't have a signal,” he said.

Sam looked down at his brother before he pulled out his own phone. He sucked in a breath as he hoped for a change before he shook his head. “I don't either.” 

Dean stayed calm, trying not to freak out immediately. This was, after all, a small town, in the middle of nowhere. It would be likely that they would have no service. Nothing out of the ordinary. 

Dean walked over to the payphone that sat on the edge of the sidewalk, feeling his brother coming up the rear as he picked it up. As soon as he put the phone to his ear, he heard the ‘out of service’ dial tone. He clicked the receiver a few times before he realized that he wasn’t going to get anywhere.

“Line’s dead,” he said as he hung up the phone. “I'll tell you one thing. If I was gonna massacre a town, that'd be my first step.” Dean moved around Sam, heading back toward the car.

“Dean, where are you going?” he asked as he followed his brother. 

“To get Cas and Gabe. We don’t know what’s going on and now phone lines are dead?” He shook his head. “I don’t like it. I’m going to get them.”

Sam moved to catch his brother. “Hey, listen for a second.We don’t know exactly what’s going on yet. If we’d called in Bobby and Ellen, we’d have a little more time. So let’s do just a little investigating first.” 

Dean took in a deep breath as he thought for a moment. His heart told him to go get Cas but his mind told him that it was probably smarter to do the exact opposite. He looked back and forth between the car and Sam before he sighed. “Alright, yeah, come on, let’s go,” he said all at once. “But the second anything goes sideways–”

“We go get them,” Sam nodded, already making his way to the car. 

  
  


“You know they’re going to kill us when they find out, don’t you?” Gabriel asked as they weaved in and out of the aisles of the grocery store they were in. Of course Gabriel’s words weren’t really much when he hadn’t tried in the slightest to stop his brother. He hadn’t wanted to be benched either. He’d be damned if he got left behind. 

“If Dean didn’t want me to have the knowledge to hotwire most cars, he wouldn’t have taught me,” he smirked as he put things in the basket. “Not to mention they’ve run through the snacks and drinks and  _ beer _ ,” he lifted his eyebrow. “And the first aid is getting low. And they never remember to make a run unless they’ve already gotten back to the motel. It’s just easier. They’ll probably never know we were in town until after they’ve already solved it.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes with a snicker even as he helped add things to their basket. “You know, you’re not their mother, right?” he asked. 

Castiel opened his mouth to say something when one of the employee’s from the store seemed to appear out of nowhere, making them jump a little. The five-foot three girl that approached them seemed to have a welcoming smile on her face as she addressed them. “I noticed you wandering, can I help you with anything today?” she asked. 

Castiel smiled back. “Oh. Thank you, we’re good. Just on a snack run,” he said as he held up the basket. He watched as she looked between them before she smiled, nodded, and walked the other way. Castiel’s smile faded. “Someone was chipper,” he scoffed. “And I know I’m not their mother. But no one else takes care of them so I do it.”

“So… you’re willing to face the yellow-eyed demon to get condoms, cheese curls, and beer?” he asked his little brother, thinking that his priorities were some kind of screwy. 

“I would gladly die for any one of the things you just said,” he smirked as he went down another aisle. 

As Castiel continued to shop with Gabriel behind him, mentioning things, he began to notice something: the store was very quiet. Except for the music that played over the speaker, Castiel couldn’t hear much of anything besides them. 

He looked up and around, stopping in the middle of the aisle. Normally, for a town this size, it wouldn’t be abnormal for the store to be quiet or even vacant. But it was the simple fact that when they’d entered the store, people of the town had been all over the store, employees stocking shelves. And now there was nothing. 

“Gabriel…” he trailed off. 

Gabriel cocked his gun, holding it out. “Yeah,” he said as he looked around. “I feel it too,” he muttered. If there was one thing Gabriel had always been good at, it was feeling when something was about to go terribly wrong. 

Castiel put his basket on the ground and pulled his own gun out of his pants just as they heard a loud crash just a few aisles over. The brothers made eye contact and they moved together as they went to check it out. 

When they turned down the aisle, they were met with a gruesome sight: there down the aisle were some of the employees of the store, holding down what seemed to be fighting patrons. The girl that had tried to help them just moments ago stood there with a knife in her hand, bleeding on one of them. 

“Hey!” Gabriel said, holding up his gun. 

At that the girl turned, yelling as she came at them. Gabriel’s eyes widened and he seemed to freeze, not knowing whether or not to take the shot. She was just a girl after all, a girl that not ten minutes ago wanted to help them. 

Gabriel barely moved even when the girl latched on to him. The only thing he did was put his hands up in defense, fighting her off and trying to keep the girl from hurting him. She wrestled him to the ground, getting on top of him as he continued to fight her. He thought that maybe she’d win. But then suddenly a gun sounded and two bullets went into her chest, making her crumble over him.

Gabriel looked up and over at his brother who had very clearly taken the shot for him. “Cas, what the hell?” he asked, groaning as he pushed her body off of him. 

“You’re welcome!” he had time to say before he noticed that some of the employees were turning to run at them and some of the others were fleeing.

“Cas, come on!” Gabriel yelled as he grabbed his brother and ran for the entrance. 

 

Dean Winchester didn’t know how much more he could take. It had begun with the phone lines being down. That was when he’d really started to worry. He’d told Sam they should have dropped everything and gone to get Gabe and Cas. It was him that had convinced him otherwise. Now? Now he was driving back into town after being attacked more than once. 

After Mrs. Tanner had been attacked and they’d taken her and her– dead– husband to the clinic in town, Dean had pulled Sam aside and demanded that he go get the brothers. Sam, at that point, had agreed. They’d decided Dean would go and get them and try to get them out on his way out of the town to get down to the next one.

But Dean had hit a few problems. For one: Dean had gone to the house they’d left the brothers in and they were nowhere to be found. He had a moment, trying not to freak out. He thought that maybe Cas and Gabriel had left again, maybe the yellow-eyed demon had them– there were so many things going through that his mind that he’d had to walk away, had to think the best in the moment. 

Dean hoped that Gabriel and Cas had sensed something and had gotten out of the town before everything went down. He couldn’t even call Sam and tell him what was happening, he just had to make it out of the town and hope that the other set of brothers were already down there. That was, of course, until he was driving along and he came to a car in the middle of the road. The scene was bloody, a knife in the middle of the road with it. 

Dean looked around, looking for any sight of a survivor. For a brief moment he wondered if it had been Gabe and Cas in the car that had been attacked. But he had more faith in them. It would have been the townspeople there dead on the ground. They would have held their own. So he chose to go further down the road.

That was when Dean ran into his next problem: the roadblock of townspeople with shotguns and rifles. To say that Dean was creeped out by the scene would have been an understatement. He didn’t know what was going on in the town… but he knew that his dad would tell him to be smart. Fix it. And so that’s what he would do. 

The next thing he knew, one of the towns people attacked. The confrontation left Dean speeding away, the guy holding on to the Impala before he was able to shake him off the car and continue back into town, avoiding bullets the whole time. 

That brought Dean to where he currently was: standing outside of the Impala, gun to gun with the same guy they’d talked to earlier. It was a minor exchange, one with loaded guns, even when the guy got in the car but Dean was… adaptable. 

The drive was stressful, Dean’s only thought being on Cas and where he was. There was no way for him to know whether or not he was okay and once he dropped this guy off at the clinic and made sure Sam was okay, he was would dive back into the town whether Sam liked it or not. 

He knew that his brother wouldn’t be happy. He knew that they would argue about it. But he also knew what his dad would say. John would tell him that if he loved this boy so much, he would find him, he would make sure he was okay. And if he wasn’t, he would do anything to avenge him. 

Suddenly Dean slammed on the breaks when someone ran out in front of the Impala, nearly hitting the person. He was broken out of his thoughts at the sound of their hands hitting the hood. But then he looked up… and he recognized the brunette head of hair that was leaned over his hood– which wasn’t exactly the first time. 

“Cas?!” he yelled as Gabriel came out of the same alley that Castiel had come out of. 

“Dean!” Castiel said, panting a little, his eyes wide and his heart soaring at the sight of the familiar face. He didn’t know what was going on in the town but knowing that Dean was closeby was all the better. 

Dean threw the car in park and got out, not caring about the other guy in the car as he got out. “What are you doing here? How the hell did you get into town?” he asked, though even as he berated his boyfriend, he was reaching for him.

But Mark, that was his name, got out of the car all the same, pointing his guns at both Cas and Gabriel. “Hey, stay away from them, man! They could be one of them.”

Dean’s face set into one of defiance and he grabbed for Cas. “Put the gun down,” he growled. “Or I swear I’ll shove it.” He turned back to Cas and touched his cheek, looking to Gabriel too. “Are you two okay?” he asked. 

Gabriel nodded. “Came close but we’re okay,” he assured. 

 

When Sam heard the Impala pull up outside the clinic, he heaved a sigh of relief even if the conversation had been interrupted between him and Pam. He went over and unlocked the door to the clinic, letting Dean and the others in. He pulled the brothers into hugs when he saw them, glad they were okay.

He had been unsurprised to see Cas and Gabe, afterall, Dean had said he was going to get them. What he had been surprised to see, though, was the blood on Gabriel. He frowned, but he said nothing. He let Dean pull him aside and they discussed what was going on.  

“Did you guys, uh, get to a phone?” Sam asked.

Dean shook his head. “Road block,” he said as Mark went to see the doctor and the four of them huddled. 

“What's going on out there, Dean?” Sam asked, clearly having trouble comprehending what was going on. People were going crazy and violent and he didn’t have the slightest clue of what could be going on. 

Dean shook his head. “Man, I don't know, I feel like Chuck Heston in the Omega Man, I mean, Sarge is the only sane person I could find and these dumbasses in town,” he said as he glared at the two. 

Sam lifted an eyebrow. “What was the emergency?” He asked, knowing that there had to be one for them to just completely do the opposite of what they asked. 

Gabriel crossed his arms. “My brother decided it would be a good idea for a snack run,” he nodded. 

Castiel looked up to see all their eyes on him. “Alright. We can talk about it when the town is not in danger. What are we dealing with, do you know?” He asked Sam. 

Sam sighed but nodded. “Yeah. Doc thinks it's a virus,” Sam said. 

Dean cleared his throat and nodded. “Okay, great. What do you think?” he asked his brother, knowing that he would believe anything coming out of Sam’s mouth over anything some civ said.

“I think she's right.”

“Really?” Dean asked with a raise of his eyebrows.

Sam nodded. “Yeah. And I think the infected are trying to infect others with blood-to-blood contact. Oh, but it gets better. The uh, the virus? Leaves traces of sulfur in the blood,” he said as he looked at the three of them. 

“A demonic virus?” Castiel asked as he stepped a little closer, trying not to draw attention to them.

“Yeah, more like demonic germ warfare. At least it explains why I've been having visions,” Sam muttered, looking around to make sure none of the civilians were listening. 

“It's like a Biblical plague,” Gabriel said.

“You don't know how right you are, Gabe,” Sam offered. “I've been poring through Dad's journal, found something about the Roanoke colony.”

“And?” the three of them asked in unison. 

Sam gave a look but said no more about the moment. “Dad always had a theory about Croatoan. He thought it was a demon's name. Sometimes known as Deva or sometimes Resheph. A demon of plague and pestilence.” 

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose as he thought for just a second. “Well, that, that's terrific. Why here, why now?” he asked.

Sam shook his head. “I have no idea. But Dean, who knows how far this thing can spread? We gotta get out of here, we gotta warn people.”    
  
Just then, the mood in the clinic shifted as Mark, the guy Dean had picked up on his way in, began yelling to them. It was something about there being someone infected on the inside and Dean was quick to react, getting his gun out immediately. 

“You're gonna kill Beverly Tanner?” a blonde girl, Pam, asked. 

Sam sighed, looking between the closet where they’d put the woman and his brother. He looked to the doctor. “Doctor, could there be any treatment? Some kind of cure for this?” he asked, hoping.

“Hey, maybe we should talk about this–” Castiel said, but Dean seemed to ignore him.

“Can you cure it?” Dean spoke over him. 

The doctor hesitated, looking unsure as eyes looked to her for an answer and she shook her head in somewhat of a panicked state. “For God's sake, I don't even know what "it" is!”

Castiel’s head turned back and forth where Mark then Pam were talking, trying to discern what exactly was going on. He looked to Gabriel; whose outside demeanor showed Castiel that his brother was anything but comfortable with what Dean was about to do. Gabriel had started off ready to hunt, ready to kill, ready to prove himself. But just as Castiel had, Gabriel learned that this job took a toll. 

He moved, following Dean to the supply closet as he tried to talk to him. He tried to stop him, tell him that they didn’t have to do it like this. When the door opened, the woman inside pleaded for her life, trying to convince the man that knew her she was nothing like the monster she had turned into. 

“Dean, you don’t have to do this,” Castiel tried. 

Dean looked up and into blue eyes, thinking about what his boyfriend was saying. He didn’t have to do this, no. But he wanted to. He wanted to kill any threat that went up against the family they had been trying to build. He wouldn’t let any of them get hurt and he sure as hell wasn’t letting this sickness get out into the world. 

“You sure she's one of 'em?” Dean asked without looking away from Castiel for a moment before he looked to his brother. 

When Sam nodded, Dean stepped further into the closet. The three shots that Dean delivered rang out in the tiny clinic, leaving all their ears buzzing with the aftermath. 

  
  


Sam watched Gabriel from where he himself was standing with Dean. They were going over the weapons they had in the clinic and what they were going to do if something unexpected happened. They debated arming the doctor and nurse but they decided against it for many reasons. 

Dean talked and talked while Sam watched Cas and Gabriel talk, Gabriel’s clothes still covered in blood. He had been that way since he’d walked into the clinic. It was something Sam hadn’t truly gotten to worry about until now as he watched his friend hold his side.

He looked at his brother, who had quieted, mulling over his guns. Dean had scared Gabriel earlier, he’d remembered the look on his face when Dean had plugged Mrs. Tanner. It had been hard for anyone to watch. Dean had been so ready to kill her, he hadn’t given it much of a thought before he had simply pulled the trigger. It worried him.

Suddenly Castiel stood, saying something about getting some water. And with that, Gabriel was alone. Sam looked on for a moment, gauging the atmosphere. When he deemed it calm, he glanced at Dean. “I’ll be right back,” he mumbled as he put his weapon down and walked over. 

Dean followed his line of vision and shook his head with a roll of his eyes but otherwise kept his opinion to himself.

Sam made his way over to Gabe who was currently flipping through a pamphlet on drug abuse but the way he rolled his eyes, Sam could tell he wasn’t really into it. 

“You think you need rehab?” he asked with a slight smile as he plucked the pamphlet out of his hands. “I knew you were addicted to something, I just thought it was sweets not drugs,” he teased lightly, handing the piece of paper back. 

Gabriel chuckled softly. “Yeah. You know it. Every time you go to bed at night, I sneak out of the room and by an eightball. Take the whole thing before morning and you’re none the wiser.”

Sam laughed a little harder before his eyes settled on what he was truly curious about; the blood on Gabriel. He looked at him as Gabriel spoke about the other little information papers he’d passed up before he decided on the one he’d had. The entire time, Sam just wanted to know he was okay. 

Gabriel saw the look in his friends eyes, and he nodded. “I’m okay, you know. None of it’s mine,” he offered as he gestured to the blood. 

Sam let out a breath that he didn’t really realize he’d been holding. Even if Gabe was trained and more adapted to their life, Sam couldn’t help but still worry for him. He believed it had something to do with him being the subject of his visions for so long. He just… wanted to make sure Gabe was okay. 

But he was, and so he let out a soft chuckle. “Good. What– How–” he asked before Gabriel cut him off. 

“We weren’t where you guys left us,” he sighed, knowing that Sam knew that much already. “Cas wanted to go into town and I didn’t do much to stop him,” he shrugged. “The house was gross and I knew the more I told Cas to stay, the more he’d think he was breaking the rules. He’s fun like that,” he laughed. “Either way we ended up at the supermarket and we got caught up in whatever this is. Girl came at me… I hesitated,” he said as he paused, licking his lips. “Cas put her down,” he gestured once more as he put his hands in his back pockets. 

Gabriel didn’t know that Sam had experienced something similar earlier that day. He didn’t know that Dean had already made him feel inadequate about it. But it sounded like Gabriel had had something similar happen to him. He put a hand on his shoulder. “I hesitated too,” he nodded before he let his hand drop. 

 

Castiel looked down at the water in the little paper cup. It was nothing special, nothing spectacular. But it held his captivation long enough that he was able to think for a few minutes, think about all that was going on in the town. 

But it was short lived when he heard a noise and he glanced up as Dean came near him. He stiffened, beginning to turn. “I have nothing to say to you right now, Dean Winchester,” he started to say. 

“Cas, come on,” Dean said as he caught his wrist. “I did what I had to do–”

“Wrong. You did what you wanted to do. Just like you always do,” he said as he pulled his wrist away. “I wanted you to talk to me for a second before we just shot the woman but you wouldn’t even listen to me. Imagine how that feels,” he huffed. 

Dean ran a hand through his hair, not knowing how to explain it to his boyfriend but knowing that he had to try. “Cas, I can’t believe I gotta go over this with you again. I won’t lose you again. I  _ can’t _ lose you again. And yet here you are, right at the center of all of this when yellow eyes could be around the corner. I don’t know what the hell this is but I know I’m going to do everything to keep you safe. That’s it.”

Castiel breathed deeply in thought. “Dean… you’re going to have to make a choice. You say you want to protect me, keep me out of harm? Then send me away, send me out of the country. You can’t… You can’t do that, can you?” he asked softly. 

Dean licked his lips. He wanted to tell Castiel to go. To get away from him and they could be together again when all this was over. But in the same breath, this was the same man Dean spent two weeks tracking down when he simply tried to go to Canada. This was the man that he was pretty sure he couldn’t live without, the one he felt like he would go off the deep end if not for. And Dean knew his silence was answer enough. 

“And I can’t leave. Because we are selfish pricks that need each other too much so you either start listening, Dean. And you get used to me being by your side through everything… or you’re going to have to bench me for good. No more choosing. You want me by your side? I’m here. We’re a team. And that’s the way we have to play it.”

Dean clenched his jaw, looking anywhere but at his boyfriend. He knew that Castiel was right, he knew that he couldn’t keep stashing Cas in motel rooms and houses and keeping him away from all that was happening. He knew he had to choose what he wanted and he wanted Castiel near him. 

He thought about telling Castiel what was truly eating at him, he thought about letting it all out right there and telling him the truth. It would be better, he was sure, than keeping it in. Cas was there for him, that much he knew, but it was easier said than implemented. He wasn’t good with his feelings, he couldn’t be expected to start now. 

The sound of frantic knocking and a scared voice was what broke Dean out of his thoughts. He looked up, seeing Sam and Gabriel discussing some kind of explosive cocktail with Mark. He gestured with his head toward Sam and the door; where he knew the noise was coming from.

The four of them readied their guns as they went to the door to answer it, Mark calling out that it was Duane Tanner. 

The hunters looked amongst themselves as the guy passed them, Mark talking to him. 

“That's the guy that I, uh…” he trailed off as he made a noise and a hand motion signaling a kill. 

“Yeah,” Sam nodded. 

Now that Dean knew what was going on, it didn’t take a moment longer for him to know exactly what was going on. This guy had to be one of the things outside. It was the only thing that made sense. Now, now Dean understood. Because as Duane began asking questions, Dean grabbed him by the arm, an overwhelming need to protect kicking out of him. 

“Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, easy there, chief. Hey Doc! Give Duane a good once-over, would you?” Dean called, following as they all headed toward the lab. 

Duane talked, revealing that he’d seen some of the worst the town had to offer. He talked about seeing a neighbor being dragged down the street, people he knew cutting him with knives. The hunters shared a look, knowing that couldn’t have been easy for him. In his last breath, Duane was asking for his parents and Dean looked over. 

“Awkward…” Dean muttered, though he straightened when he got a look from Cas that told him that it was neither the time nor the place. 

The doctor peeled his jeans open where she saw blood. “You’re bleeding,” the doctor announced, looking up at Dean and Sam for affirmation as she still believed they were Marshal's.

“Where did you get that?” Dean asked immediately, stepping in front of his party and making sure he had eyes on Castiel. If this guy was going to turn at any moment, Cas was not going to be the one he got. It wouldn’t be any of his family.

Duane looked down and then back at Dean. “I uh… I was running. I must have tripped,” he said. 

But of course, Dean didn’t buy that for a second. He saw the way Beverly Tanner had pleaded for her life, had lied. There was nothing to say that this guy wasn’t doing the same. 

Dean looked to Gabriel. “Tie him up, there's rope in there,” he gestured with his head. 

As Gabriel moved, Duane did too. “Wait–” he started but was quickly cut off by the sound of Dean pulling his gun. 

“Sit down!” Dean yelled, making his boyfriend wince at the sound. 

“I'm sorry, Duane, he's right. We've gotta be careful,” Mark said.

“Careful? About what?” Duane was clearly confused and not understanding why a man was randomly pointing a gun at him.

“Did they bleed on you?” Dean asked in turn, his voice very demanding as if telling the other that they would be the ones to ask the questions. 

“No, what the hell? No!”

Sam looked at his brother and then the doctor. “Doc? Any way to know for sure, any test?”

“I've studied Beverly's blood work backwards and forwards,” she said, only stopping briefly when Duane recognized his mother's name and interrupted her. She sighed a little. “It took three hours for the virus to incubate. The sulfur didn't appear in the blood until then, so . . . no, there'd be no way of knowing. Not until after Duane turns.” 

Sam swallowed, looking around. “Dean, I gotta talk to you. Now,” he said, feeling uneasy about the whole situation. This wasn’t like Mrs. Tanner, Duane hadn’t attacked anyone yet.

Gabriel looked at Dean and gave him a nod to go, that he had it under control, as he and Mark got the chair and rope. “You’re going to make this a whole lot easier on yourself if you just sit down,” Gabriel offered.

As they walked into the other room, giving them a moment of privacy to talk, Sam sighed. “This is my vision, Dean. It's happening.” 

Dean wanted to roll his eyes at his brother. But he didn’t. “Yeah, I figured,” he muttered. But it made sense now. Dean hadn’t just been plugging someone in Sam’s vision. Clearly, he’d been doing it to protect them, to protect Cas, to protect all of them. 

“You can't kill him, all right?” Sam tried to reason with his brother, hoping Dean would understand. “Not yet. We don't know if he's infected or not.”

Dean almost balked at his brother. He knew Sam had a soft spot but he thought the two were on the same page as far as protecting Cas and Gabriel went. “Well, I think we're pretty damn sure. Guy shows up out of nowhere, he's got a cut on his leg, his whole family's infected?” Dean asked, as it was just too neatly wrapped up for him.

“All right, then we should keep him tied up, and we should wait and see,” Sam tried again. 

As they spoke, Sam could see the hunger in his brothers eyes. He knew that it was a thirst to kill off anything that threatened to puncture the perfect little bubble they had going on. It had been since their father died. Gabriel and Dean didn’t even get along usually. But it was like Dean had created some silent oath with himself that if anyone was going to die next, it would be him. And it would be in protecting the others. 

But Sam knew that it was more than that. Dean was going stir crazy. He hated that Cas, most of all, was here, in this mess. They didn’t know what was going on, they didn’t know if the yellow-eyed demon was lurking somewhere close by to try and get the drop on them. They didn’t know anything. But that didn’t stop Dean from trying. And nothing would get in his way from putting a stop to anything that threatened their little family. 

There was something else to it, of course. Something else behind Dean’s eyes that seemed to be working every time he looked his way. He didn’t know what it was but he knew Dean would tell him when he was ready. 

“For what? For him to Hulk out and infect somebody else– infect Cas? No thanks, can't take that chance,” he shook his head as he began to move around his brother when Sam stopped him. He knew why, but it didn’t stop Dean from giving his brother a look that foretold him losing his hand if he kept it where it was. “Hey look, man, I'm not happy about this, okay? But it's a tough job and you know that.”

Sam didn’t understand, couldn’t understand. He knew that his brother was always the kind to ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ but he’d thought that Dean had gotten better. But Dean was declining and it scared him. What would Dean do if Duane turned out to be human? “It's supposed to be tough, Dean. We're supposed to struggle with this, that's the whole point.”

Dean remained calm. “What does that buy us?” he asked in a cold tone.

“A clear conscience, for one!” Sam countered, not believing what he was hearing from his brother.

Dean nearly laughed but it was humorless as he thought to himself. A clear conscience? That’s what Sam was going to try to stop him with? He hadn’t had a clear conscience in some time. Not when Cas had been pinned to the ceiling… not when he’d pushed him so far away that he’d made him run… and certainly not after all he’d done to find him. And to top it off? Oh yeah, his dad was in hell. And it was his fault.  “Well, it's too late for that,” he muttered as he moved to go around his brother. 

Sam stopped Dean again. Dean wasn’t going to shoot an innocent man. Sam wouldn’t let him. “What the hell's happened to you?”

“What?” Dean scrunched his eyebrows. 

“You might kill an innocent man, and you don't even care! You don't act like yourself anymore, Dean. Hell, you know what? You're acting like one of those things out there,” Sam said, his blood pressure rising. In retrospect, he should have known that his brother would do the exact opposite of what Sam wanted him to, would get the exact opposite message. 

Dean clenched his jaw as he listened to his brother. Sam didn’t understand. His brother didn’t understand the absolute  _ burden _ put on his shoulders by their father. He didn’t know how to cope with it and he knew that Sam wouldn’t get it. 

Sam left. He’d gone to college. Sure, he’d come back, but only because he had to. Because he felt like he needed to. At the end of the day, John had tasked him with the protection of their little family, with Sam. His brother didn’t understand that protecting their family… it was the only thing that was keeping him going. 

When Castiel left, Dean had ground his feelings to a very abrupt halt, put everything into finding his boyfriend. Now? He couldn’t even see that he was releasing weeks of pent up anger about everything. And then to tack on the fact that they’d been dropped right into what was starting to feel like ground zero? No… he wasn’t a monster. But he’d be damned if he was going to stand on the sidelines and let anyone from his family become one. 

Dean went to move around his brother again. But this time when Sam tried to stop him, he maneuvered; his hands coming up to push Sam far enough behind him that he was able to get out of the room. He looked back at his brother as he locked the door. He knew what he had to do. 

His brother shouted at him from behind the door as he readied his gun. He checked the bullets, making sure, before he opened the door to see Duane tied up.

“Dean,” Gabriel said, seeing Dean with the gun. He and Dean didn’t always see eye to eye… and sometimes they did too damn well. This was not one of those times. 

Duane seemed to notice the gun in his hands and he began to shake his head, to plead. “No, you're not gonna . . . No, no, I swear it's not in me!” he said.

“Oh God. We're all gonna die,” the nursing assistant said. 

“Maybe he's telling the truth,” Mark tried. 

Gabriel could see the inner battle going on behind Dean’s eyes. He didn’t know why Dean was doing this but it was clear that it was because he felt like he had to. He didn’t want to. But that didn’t seem to stop him as he stepped closer to Duane. 

“No, he's not him, not anymore,” Dean muttered, holding up the gun. 

“Stop it! Ask her, ask the doctor! It's not in me!” Duane called, trying to bargain for his life. 

Dean looked to the doctor but she just shook her head, clearly scared. “I...I can't tell.”

“Dean,” Gabriel said again as Duane sobbed and begged for his life. He tried to say that it wasn’t in him, but the truth was that none of them knew for sure. 

“Stay out of it, Gabriel,” he answered as he held up his gun. “I got no choice.”

“Yes, you do,” Gabriel whispered as he moved closer to Dean. “What would Cas say?” he asked gently. “What would he want you to do? Because he’s not even here right now, Dean. He knew what was coming. He was  _ afraid _ . And so he left the room. He knew what you were going to do. Prove him wrong.”

Gabriel’s words rang in Dean’s head as he looked around and realized Gabriel was right; Cas wasn’t there. Just moments before all this happened, Cas was promising that he was going to be here through all of it. But he knew his boyfriend. He knew that this was Castiel’s way of telling Dean he wanted no part in what he was about to do. 

He looked at Duane, watching him cry for a moment. Could he look Cas in the eye after this one? Beverly Tanner was one thing, she’d already attacked. But Duane did nothing. Not yet. Could he look Castiel in the eye and tell him that he’d done what he was certain he had to when he wasn’t certain of it at all?

Suddenly Dean dropped the gun. “Dammit,” he muttered before he walked away. 

 

Castiel sat in the waiting room of the clinic, thumbing through one of the magazines that laid there. And while his eyes read some of the words on the page, his mind remained blank. All that was up there seemed to be white noise as he tried not to think of what his boyfriend was about to do. 

He knew Dean wasn’t himself anymore. He knew that Dean was feeling John’s death worse than anyone else could have. But he never expected the other man to go so far off the rails. Not now, not after what John had put on them when he died. 

Castiel thought back to what John had said to them in the hospital room right before he died. How couldn’t he? A man who spent every ounce of himself hating him when they were around each other… had smiled and asked him a favor– a truly difficult one at that– and told Dean to love him right before he’d walked off to his death. Castiel was sure you didn’t just come back from that. 

But Dean… he was beginning to truly frighten him. He wanted to kill everything, leave him behind. Hell, he was sure it was getting tough for Dean to even take Sam with him. He was so caught in his own head, his own grief… that Castiel knew that Dean himself was the only one that could pull him out. 

Just then, someone sat next to him and he looked over, seeing his boyfriend with a blank expression on his face, his eyes casting to nowhere. There was a long pause between them, neither really knowing what to say. 

“You left,” he said a bit abruptly. 

Castiel’s eyes took in Dean’s emotions for a while, noticing the bags under his eyes. Dean was tired, he knew that much. His lover barely slept anymore even with Cas next to him. He wondered if it was the weight of all that was bearing down on him that provoked his insomnia. In the middle of the night, he would wake to Dean either searching for a case or with a beer in his hand. 

“I refused to watch you kill an innocent man,” he answered. “Is it done? Did you do it?” Castiel inquired, though he hadn’t heard the sound of any gunshots. 

Dean shook his head and he peered up. When he did, green eyes met blue and Dean felt himself calm a little. “I couldn’t…” was all he could say. 

“Why?” Castiel wondered.

Dean licked his lips and reached for Castiel’s hand. “I knew you would never look at me the same…” 

Castiel’s heart thudded in his chest when Dean took his hand, feeling it clench when Dean said it was his doing. He laced their fingers better, feeling Dean’s entire body relax from the contact. “Dean… we haven’t talked… about any of it sense your dad died–”

“Cas, come on… not now,” he shook his head, feeling his whole body tense up anew. He knew that this was what Sam had been trying to get oat earlier. But he was fine. He just… he knew that without John in this world, the protection of this family, it went to him.  

“Then when, Dean? Tell me when? When you drink yourself to death? When you go without sleep for so long that you run us off the road one night? When you finally do kill someone because you’re so eager to release some of the rage? Believe me when I say, I might not know what you’re going through, but I know it’s not easy.” Castiel looked down at their fingers once more before he looked up again. “What will you do if you hurt me…?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Dean’s head snapped up. “I would never hurt you,” he voiced in a way that was very final. 

“But you’re scaring me, Dean,” Castiel sighed. “You’re going after people, you’re not sleeping– you won’t talk to me unless you absolutely need to. It scares me that one day my fears will be true. You’ll realize I’m just… I’m just a soulless monster and you’ll put me down before I can hurt anyone–”

“Castiel,” Dean whispered softly, making Cas look at him as he spoke. “I will  _ never _ hurt you. I would never, I don’t think I could even if you were the devil himself,” he smiled a bit. “Cas… I’m just trying to protect you…” he said, though he was searching for more words to try to make him understand that hurting him wasn’t on his to-do list. 

“It doesn’t feel like protection anymore, Dean. It feels like homicide,” he breathed. “When you found me, you told me that you almost took a deal with the demon. For your dad. You said I was the reason you didn’t take it. Because I deserved more than ten years with you if I was crazy enough to want that. Then prove it to me, Dean. Because I want more than ten years. And if you end up dead or in jail because of what you’re gearing towards… you’ll have broken your promise… and I’ll never forgive you.” While his words were harsh, his voice was soft. He wanted to show Dean the weight of his actions… but leaving Dean again was nowhere near what he was planning. 

“Cas,” Dean whispered back, his voice cracking. But Castiel was right. He was on edge so much lately that if this was the other way around, he would probably be worried right now too. He felt his body go slack and he leaned heavily on his boyfriend. “Okay…”

“Okay?”

“Yes. Yeah, okay. I hear you, angel,” he said as he reached up and cupped his cheek. “I’m not going to lose you. Not again. So just… bare with me?” he asked. 

Castiel gave a small smile and he leaned in, kissing Dean with all the love he had for him. “I’m not going anywhere,” he promised. 

 

Hours had passed as they waited for the virus to kick up in Duane’s system. But it never did. Duane was healthy and not infected to they let him loose. 

Dean sat with Cas as they whispered back and forth, their hands touching the entire time. It wasn’t sexual or inappropriate for the scenario. They were letting their fear out, holding one another, coping. Gabriel had been helping Sam make some molotov cocktails that would help them get out of town and so the couple had decided that this time to spend just one another was okay. 

That was, of course, until they heard screaming. 

Dean was up in a second, Castiel right behind him with a gun in his hand. Everything passed by in a blur, the clear sound of Pam attacking Sam, Gabriel racing in and shooting her without any hesitation before Dean and Cas could even get there. But then of course… Pam had the virus. And she’d bled on him. 

None of them truly knew what to do, Dean’s panic just a little overwhelming right now. He’d promised Cas to let go of his anger, let go of his rage, stop trying to protect them so much and it got his brother infected. He didn’t blame Cas though, no. He blamed himself. 

“Doc, check his wound again would you?” Dean ordered the doctor, not really remembering when they’d gotten Sam up and on the chair that was in that office. He didn’t know how any of this had truly happened. Sam couldn’t… he wouldn’t– “Doctor!” Dean yelled when she just stood there. 

Gabriel sat behind Sam on the medical chair, the entire time getting looks from Duane and Mark, the doctor seeming to be weary of where he was perched too but they didn’t say anything, not at first. 

“What’s she need to examine him for? We all saw what happened,” Mark said before he looked over to Gabriel. “And you’re playing with fire just sitting with him waiting for him to turn.”

Gabriel smirked a little. “Call me crazy but I like a little danger,” he said, though his heart was heavy. “I’m not going anywhere, Sam,” he muttered as the others argued. 

“Well you’re stupid not to. You should get away from me. For your own good.”

Gabriel opened his mouth to say something when their arguing seemed to heat up as Duane yelled at Dean because he was going to shoot him. 

Castiel growled. “Go near my brother and  _ I’ll _ shoot you,” he offered to Duane. 

Sam wanted to smile. He did whenever Castiel called him his brother. But this… is was more of a somber occasion. “Dean, they're right. I'm infected; just give me the gun and I'll do it myself.”

Gabriel scoffed from behind him as he leaned on him so they were back to back. “Well that’s so not happening.”

“Gabriel–”

“Look at that. Gabriel and I agree on something,” Dean said. “Forget it.”

Sam’s jaw clenched. He had a brief moment where he couldn’t help but think that this wasn’t how he saw this going. Not here, not today. But that was their job. And he wouldn’t go down as a monster. He shook his head, hoping his brother would understand. “Dean, I’m not gonna become one of those things,” he demanded. 

“Sam, we’ve still got time–” Castiel started. 

Mark cut in, “Time for what? Look, I understand he's your brother, and I'm sorry, I am. But we gotta take care of this.” 

Mark pulled out his gun and without a thought, Castiel moved and grabbed his wrist. He pointed his arm to the sky. His foot came down and he knocked his knee so that the other man buckled just enough that his other hand was able to come up and disarm him. 

It was clear that Mark had been caught off guard because in another moment, Mark was making a move for Cas but he pointed the gun at him. “I wouldn’t,” he said simply, a look of pure chaos in his eyes that said he would put down anyone that went after Sam. 

The entire room was in a state of quiet, Dean and Sam in a particular state of shock. Not that Cas knew, but it wasn’t as if Mark was just anyone. He was a master sergeant and Cas had just taken his gun away like he was taking something pointy away from a toddler. 

All eyes were on Castiel but he didn’t move, didn’t back down if Mark wasn’t going to. Dean wasn’t the only one interested in the protection of their family. 

Finally, Mark settled. “Then what are we supposed to do?” he asked, looking to Dean. 

There was a look of consideration in his eyes, trying to figure out the best course of action. There was no was leaving his brother. He just wouldn’t give Sam the gun and let him do this. He wouldn’t.

The next thought in his head had him looking to Cas. He didn’t know if Cas could at all understand what he was about to say. “I won’t leave my brother,” he whispered. 

“And I won’t leave either of you,” he said softly. 

“What? What are you talking about? Are you two insane?” Sam asked, looking to Gabriel. “Gabe, help me out here–”

“What part of ‘I’m not going anywhere’ didn’t you understand?” he asked. 

Sam watched in anger and in torment as Dean handed the keys to the impala to Mark and Duane. He barely knew what to say as his brother told them about what was in the trunk and how the nurse should go with them. 

Dean was silent for a moment, giving Cas a look. Castiel glanced back. There was a sadness in his eyes but it was clear that he wasn’t going anywhere and Dean wouldn’t waste this time in a fight. If they made it through this, which they probably wouldn’t, they’d talk about it later. 

“Dean, no,” Sam said. “You can’t do this. Go with them. Take them,” he pointed to Castiel and Gabriel. “This is your only chance,” he tried. 

Dean gave a small smile to his brother. “You think after all this, you’re just going to get rid of us?” he asked. 

“No he’s right,” Mark said as he looked at them. “Come with us.”

Castiel clenched his jaw before he relaxed and slowly handed Mark’s gun back to him. He was showing the marine that it wasn’t going to happen. They weren’t going anywhere. “You guys get somewhere safe,” he said. 

“Okay… it’s your funeral,” Mark said as they made their way out the door. 

Dean followed behind them, planning to shut the door. Just then the doctor turned around to look at them. “I’m sorry,” She said in a gentle tone. “Thanks for everything, Marshals.”

“Oh, actually, we’re not really Marshals,” Dean said. He figured it didn’t matter. They were about to die anyway. 

The doctor looked confused as she looked at the four of them. “Oh, um…” she paused, clearly not knowing how to respond. “Okay…” she said before she left the room. 

Dean shut the door behind her and locked it. He turned around to see three sets of eyes all peering at him. He took a breath, not knowing what he was supposed to say. How was he supposed to be positive about the fact that they were most likely all going to die. They wouldn’t see the next day. 

Dean forced a smile. “Man I wish we had a deck of cards, or a foosball table or something,” he said with a laugh that was just as forced as his smile. 

Sam’s jaw was clenched. He couldn’t believe Dean. He couldn’t believe that his brother was about to throw everything away just to make sure he didn’t die alone. He and Cas could have gotten out, Gabriel could have gotten out; they still could. He didn’t understand it. He wasn’t worth dying for…

“Don’t do this. You three… you need to get the hell out of here,” he tried again. 

“No way,” Gabriel voiced from where he’d moved beside Sam when Castiel had taken the gun from Mark. 

Sam’s eyes stung at the fresh tears in them. How could he get them all to listen when every single one of them was just as pig headed and stubborn? Because he knew that if it was any one of them, he’d be doing the exact same thing. “Give me my gun, and leave.”

“For the last time, Sam: no,” Castiel said simply. 

Sam, who’d been holding an ice pack over where Pam cut him, threw it to the ground. The tears that had been threatening to drop spilled over on to his cheeks. “This is the dumbest thing any of you have ever done,” Sam said, his eyes on the verge of spilling over as they watered. 

“I don’t know,” Castiel said. “The stupidest thing might have been getting in the car with your brother that night. Wouldn’t be in this mess.” With a smile on his face, it was clear that Castiel was joking but Sam wasn’t having any of it. 

“I’m sick. It’s over for me. It doesn’t have to be for any of you…”

“No?” Dean asked. 

“No. You can keep going–”

“Who says we want to?” Castiel asked Sam as he sat down on one of the stools. 

Sam frowned, looking between the couple. “I don’t even know what you two are talking about anymore. You just found each other, you’re happy. Go live your lives, have kids one day, be happy. Not this…” he whispered. “And you, after my visions, I swore I would protect you,” he said to Gabriel. 

Gabriel frowned. “Sam… what are you talking about?” he asked him. 

Sam realized what he said only a moment after. He still hadn’t told Gabriel about him being the center of his visions for such a long time. “I… Dean, come on,” he said, looking back to his brother. “Help me.”

Dean sighed as he leaned against the counter. He mulled over his response a little as Castiel moved the stool so he could press his side against Dean’s legs and lean on his lap. He smiled softly and ran his hand through his hair before he shook his head. “I'm tired, Sam. I'm tired of this job, this life . . . this weight on my shoulders, man. I'm tired of it.”

Sam looked confused. He’d never heard his brother speak like that. Hell, Dean usually talked your ear off about hunting if you let him. He’d tell you every cool story in his arsenal, every monster he killed, every family he saved. If you would listen, he would tell it to you. Now, his brother was here, telling him the exact opposite. Now he was telling him that he was tired? 

Sam felt as though Castiel, of all people, should be offended. Wasn’t he right there? Was he not enough for Dean to live for? But with the way Castiel sat next to Dean, the way his head leaned against Dean’s side to seek the smallest amount of comfort… Sam noticed that the same exhaustion in Dean’s eyes… were mirrored in Castiel’s. 

“So you guys are just going to give up?” he asked. “You're just gonna lay down and die? Look, Dean, I know this stuff with Dad has–”

“You're wrong. It's not about Dad. I mean, part of it is, sure, but…” he trailed off, not able to find the right words. 

Castiel looked up. “We live together as a family, Sam. We’ll die as one too. That’s as simple as it is.”

Sam shook his head, opening his mouth to say more but he was cut off by the sound of footsteps coming their way in a hurried manner. The doctor knocked on the door with an urgency, only knocking again when they didn’t answer right away. 

Dean got up, unlocking the door and opening it with a confused expression on his face. But before he could ask, though, she spoke, “You better come see this.”

The silence was deafening to say the least. As they all filed outside, the darkness of the night and the quiet of the town made everything sinister even though all the people that had been running around, forcing them to hole up in the clinic; they were all gone. It was unclear as to what happened, the doctor telling them there was no one, anywhere. 

Dean wanted to search the town, see if there really wasn’t any survivors. He wanted to go out there and make sure the job was done right. But then his eyes caught the same word carved into the telephone pole as it did earlier; Croatoan. And right then and there… Dean knew there were no survivors. He didn’t know why, but it was easy to deduce that it was meant to be exactly the way it was; the town left with nothing. 

 

As the four of them drove out of the town, Dean couldn’t help but be a little confused as to what at all had happened the last twenty-four hours. He didn’t understand how an entire town disappeared, he didn’t understand how Sam was immune to the virus, and he sure as hell didn’t understand why all that happened there and then. 

He’d expressed to his brother that this particular case, it felt like the one that got away. How was he supposed to deal with everything on his shoulders and then still deal with hunting, still deal with the fact that he couldn’t protect everyone? If it had been his dad… he would have been able to, he was sure. 

That being said, after a much needed beer run, Dean parked the car by a river and they cracked them open. Dean stood there, holding Cas in his arms, whispering to him. Their conversation was… heavy, important, as they told each other how much their love was reciprocated between them. It was nearly a script they followed now, making sure now that they’d said it, they told the other how much they loved one another after a hunt. And one like this? They both knew they needed it. 

“So, last night,” Sam started, looking at his brother. “You wanna tell me what that was about?” he asked, knowing that Dean would play stupid like he always did. 

Dean didn’t really look up from where he and Cas were looking out at the water. “What do you mean?” he asked. But, of course, Dean knew exactly what his brother was talking about. While he’d hoped that anything he’d said last night would be able to stay in the clinic, he knew Sam better than that. 

“What do I mean? I mean you said you were tired of the job. And that it wasn't just because of Dad.” Sam knew that Dean had been off lately. But this, wasn't what he’d been expecting. Afterall, Dean was always claiming about how he loved his job and then to top it off, whatever was eating at him, it wasn’t even the regular. 

“Forget it,” Dean said unambiguously before he took another sip of his beer and held Cas closer. 

Sam shook his head from where he was perched on the fence that kept patrons at bay from the river. He looked to Gabriel who was absently eating Reese’s cup after another. He knew Gabriel enough to know that his sweet tooth only came out that bad when something was eating at him. And while he wanted to unpack that… he knew Dean had to come first on this one. 

“No, I can't. No way,” He said finally. 

Dean rolled his eyes and turned to look at Sam better. “Come on man, I thought we were all going to die, you can't hold that over me,” he offered, wanting his brother to, seriously, just drop it. 

Sam shook his head again. “No, no, no, no. You can't pull that crap with me, man. You're talking,” he said. 

“And what if I don't?”

Sam gave the slightest chuckle but his face told his brother that he was serious in what he was about to say. “Then I guess I'll just have to keep asking until you do.”

Dean nodded, considering his brothers words. He added in everything that had happened to them and he knew that he either had to tell his brother the truth or he had to change the subject. “I don't know, man. I just think maybe we ought to . . . go to the Grand Canyon,” he said. 

Gabriel looked up at that. “What?”

“Yeah, you know, all this driving back and forth across country, you know I've never been to the Grand Canyon? Or we could go to T.J. Or Hollywood, see if I can bang Cas under the Hollywood sign,” he suggested, earning him a whack from said boyfriend. 

Sam chuckled but he shook his head once more as he listened to his brother. “You're not making any sense.”

The hunter sighed as he took another swing of his beer. Everything felt heavy to him right now; the weight of his gun in his jeans, the weight of knowing what he did. Everything just seemed to keep piling up for him. It was a runaway train and jumping off was the only option, he was sure. “I just think we should take a break from all this. Why do we gotta get stuck with all the responsibility, you know? Why can't we live life a little bit?”

“Why are you saying all this?” Sam wondered but as his brother turned away, he stood straighter. “No, no, no, no, Dean. You're my brother, all right? So whatever weight you're carrying, let me help a little bit.”

“Baby,” Castiel said softly. “It’s time,” he nodded. 

“I can't. I promised,” Dean whispered to his lover. 

“We both promised,” Castiel said. “And I think we can both agree that it’s time to tell him.”

“Tell me what?” Sam asked, his whole demeanor changing as Castiel and Dean talked about him like he wasn’t there. He briefly looked to Gabriel as if asking him if he knew what was going on too. He knew that Dean and Cas were a couple and they would always have little things between them. But he thought they’d decided on no more secrets. 

“Don’t look at me,” he mumbled around a mouth full of Reese’s. “No one tells me anything.”

“Who?” Sam finally asked. “Who did you promise not to tell this secret to?”

“Dad…” Dean finally answered. “We promised Dad.”

Sam frowned deeper, his heart clenching at the statement. He didn’t think Dean would keep anything their dad ever said from him. That wasn’t how this worked. “What are you talking about?”

Dean clenched his jaw and looked away from his brother again. He didn’t know how he was supposed to tell his brother  _ this _ . What was the right way to say something with that much… gravity to it? “Right before Dad died, he told me something,” he said before he took a breath. “He told me something about you.” 

“What? Dean, what did he tell you?” So much more racing through his mind at the moment, all he had was questions.  

“He said that he wanted me– us; me and Cas. He said he wanted us to watch out for you, to take care of you…” he said.

Sam lifted an eyebrow. It was hard to believe John said anything to Cas that wasn’t something nasty and mean seeing as that seemed to be their whole relationship. “He told you that a million times–”

“No, this time was different. He said that we had to save you.”

Sam’s face twisted into one of confusion. “Save me from what?”

Dean shook his head as he debated saying more. But the look Castiel was giving him told him that he had to do this. He had to be honest with his brother, especially after what had just happened with the virus and Sam being immune. “He just said that we had to save you, that nothing else mattered; and that if we couldn't, we’d…”

“You'd what, Dean?”

“That we’d have to kill you. He said that we might have to kill you, Sammy…”

 

The music played on the radio as Mark sat in the driver's seat of the truck that he and Duane had used to get out of town. Mark’s head hung back, his neck bleeding as Duane dipped his fingers into the bowl filled with his blood so that he could make a call. 

“It's over, you'll be pleased. I don't think any more tests are necessary,” Duane said. “The Winchester boy, definitely immune, as expected,” he said after a bead. He paused once more, listening before he looked at Mark, now dead. Yes, of course. Nothing left behind. But there is just one other thing, Sir,” the demon said as his eyes turned black. “The pet, Castiel… he is getting stronger. He’ll need to be eliminated before we continue…”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sucky, right? I know! You're probably sat there wondering what that throw up of dialogue and feelings was. Okay, so here's the run down. Croatoan? Makes for a horrible episode when you're trying to work in the mechanics of everyone and what they're feeling and how they're moving. Why? Because just like in the actual show, this is a pivotal episode, installment, and it's meant to now turn things on its head. That being said, everything is important, nearly everything needs to be added, and I couldn't cut as many corners on the script as I would have liked to. I hope you enjoyed it and I promise the next installment is coming soon. More exciting things are coming after this one!


End file.
